Recently, I was mindlessly scrolling through TikTok (yes, I use TikTok, I find it to be entertaining as well as educational; I also have quite the following of >23K because apparently others find me entertaining and educational too... but I digress) when I came across a post by a female entrepreneur who works in the beauty sector. I spent about 15 minutes, reading and re-reading her post, because it was her candidly sharing struggles she faces in her business. Struggles that I have faced myself. Struggles that I am constantly speaking about because I see other women facing those same issues, in my capacity as a life coach. Struggles with self-doubt.
She spoke about doubting her decision to get into the beauty industry, and feeling as though she may have wasted the time and money which she invested in being trained and then starting her business. She related this to fears of one day hating her profession.
She spoke about having only a few clients who aren't her own friends, and compared herself to another beautician who started at the same time as she did, but who has a much larger clientele than she does.
She expressed fears of never improving because it feels to her as though no matter how much she practices, she still struggles in certain skills.
She recalled conversations in which others told her that the beauty industry is "over-saturated" and so for that reason her business is unlikely to do well. She admitted that this terrifies her.
She also admitted being her own biggest critic, and therefore struggling with posting her work on her social pages, out of a fear that it would be ridiculed.
Of course, I immediately went to the comments, initially to post one that would encourage this lady, but I was blown away by the outpouring of encouragement and support that others were giving to her. That comments section really passed the vibe check. Then I remembered that TikTok comments are limited to just 150 characters, and I had a lot more to say to this young lady than just that. So I went to her inbox.
What I said to this young lady, I'm sharing here because I know that she is not the only one who struggles in these ways. I, myself, have struggled similarly, and I am sure that as you are reading this, you too can relate.
Self-doubt is more common than we know. And it's very often triggered by comparing ourselves with others. Comparison is the thief of joy. We very rarely have enough background information to make realistic comparisons. There is room for all of us to succeed, even if we're doing the same thing. If you put five life coaches in the same room, who appear at face value to be coaching the same thing, the fact remains that each of us is bringing our own secret sauce to the table. Our backgrounds, our perspectives, our personalities, our values, our vibes, are all different, which means that our tribes will be different as well. We may "do the same thing" but we don't do it in the same ways.
Your journey is yours, and their journey is theirs. Stop relying on the highlight reels that others tend to share as the basis for your comparisons. Stay focused on your journey and keep pressing on.
Fear of failure is completely natural. But what's your greater fear behind it? Is it being ridiculed? Is it the (false) belief that if you fail then that's it, and that nothing else good can happen? None of us wants to fail, but at the same time there is value in failure if we do. In the simplest terms, it's an opportunity to examine what went wrong, and figure out how to make it right.
Impostor syndrome is the gremlin on your shoulder, whispering into your ear that you aren't really that skilled, smart or talented. You see that gorgeous, self-assured woman up there on stage, waxing poetic on whatever subject she's sharing with you? Chances are high that when she first started, she spent a few minutes each day convincing herself that she is indeed the right person for the gig and that, no, the organizers didn't dial the wrong number, or email the incorrect address. It could be five years later and she's still convincing herself of these things. That's because impostor syndrome is real, and is felt by most of us.
Limiting beliefs can be par for the course, and what we have to remember is that sometimes its not just our own limiting beliefs at play, but the limiting beliefs of others. People can be quick to suggest that you're dreaming too big, or that your aspirations are unrealistic. Just because they can't see the way doesn't mean the way doesn't exist. Heck, just because you can't see the way doesn't mean the way doesn't exist. There's only one being who really needs to know, and I promise you, He knows! It's only up to us to exercise our faith that He will see it through.
How much of this resonates with you? Ask yourself which areas you struggle the most with. How are you overcoming that? Need a hand? I can help you!
Lr.
Dr. Lesley Reece is an empowerment & mindset life coach for women. Her latest coaching program, 💫Her EMPOWERED Life💫 takes women on an empowering journey from self-doubt to self-assertion, in all facets of their lives, you can learn more about it here. She is also a freelance writer and avid TikTokeur (@drtiktokker).